This is the section of the blog where the author usually states their name, a previous age, their current geographic location, and some profound passion for sipping Cabarnet with their poodle or fiance.

Let me give it to you straight. I’m not going to tell you my real name. This is because  my “day time gig” involves marketing and business development activities for respected professionals who would can me if this blog was associated with my professional image.

What I will tell you is that although I’m from the East Coast, I do live in Los Angeles, and as I type this at 11:21pm PST on February 28th, I’m still 29.

This blog is not for the prude, the judgmental, the girls who wear make-up to the gym, or anyone who might deny the fact they still pick their nose when no one is watching.

While my professional writing is clean, very PG somewhat respectable,  and yes, pays those things called “bills,” it doesn’t feed my soul. I sit in front of my laptop dying to insert sarcastic phrases, sexual innuendos, or political references into ad copy that is absolutely incongruent with the laws of any respectable industry.

So this blog- this collection of stories, moments and insights- come from a dark side within me that needs to escape. If you like what I have to say, which is usually uncensored and vulgar, feel free to twitter, twatter, instagrammer, or whatever platform you choose to share my word vomit.

If you don’t like what I have to say- well, don’t read it then. Or write some shit of your own and try to one up me. I don’t really care.

And in case what you’re wondering what my hobbies are- for starters, I don’t care about expensive wine. Secondly, I work, exercise a lot (because this is Los Angeles and we all have body dysmorphia and eating disorders), write, and try to have a social life. So I’m not quite sure what else I’m supposed to be squeezing in during these short 24 hour days. And no, I’m not the type who brags about how little sleep they get in order to portray some version of success. Those people have permanent bags under their eyes and just talk about how “busy” they are all the time.

As for now, dear reader, you can call me Jay, which is how I’ll refer to myself in dialogue throughout the posts.

And now, welcome to the dark side of my world.